Kalki - Salute

No one says it better than her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF0_dGYeSEk

Belated Happy New Year 2016

It is another new year. People all over the globe have celebrated absolutely nothing changing. It is not like the refugee crisis will  eradicate, or the giant chemical/automobile/oil corporations of the world will start investing more money in solving global warming. Last year it was Lahore,Paris, Baghdad, and this year it was Pathankot,Turkey, Kenya. The ISIS-s and the Boka Harems and the Pakistan militants. and the Maobadis they will all exist just like the head of nations and all of us, the normal regular people, be sacrificed as collateral damage.

A world where children are slaughtered in the name of religion, women are raped, mutilated, burned without any hesitation for sport, where men are killed because of what he eats, needs to change. There needs to be an upheaval. Every single one of us, the normal collateral expendables, need to stand against injustice and speak up, for each other and for ourselves. We cannot keep on hiding anymore behind fear, behind societal diktats. And when that change happens, when we can truly identify ourselves as decent human beings that is when we should celebrate.

My Experience in Amreeci Village : Pujo 2015

This is my first Pujo where I have not spent a single day in Kolkata. I was depressed to say the least. I was homesick to the point I could physically feel it in the pit of my stomach. I am not a religious person at all. But Pujo is so much more than just a religious festival. It is almost a tradition. It is my roots. It is nostalgia. It is my childhood and my growing up. Pujo is a part of every single person's life living in Kolkata and I am sure the rest of Bengal. It is a feeling an indescribable feel-good feeling.

ASP and VP who live in the nearby village of Parsiappany in NJ told me that there are some Pujos nearby them. Not Pujo on the Pujo day. But 5 days of Pujo crammed into one and a half days. But I thought to myself. It would still be Pujo So it was decided that I would go over to their house and go over I did last weekend.

So we got our "tickets" to the most famous Pujo that there is in New Jersey. Yes. You have to get "tickets" worth $60 per head per day to be able to even get a glimpse of Ma. If you do not have your "ticket" ( represented by a band on your hand ) the very Amreeci bouncers standing on the doorway will NOT let you enter to even get a glimpse of Ma. ( To be fair I have heard it is not the same in other pujos across the country. )

So the day comes and we put on our ethnic outfits and set about to go see Ma. I was feeling a little better because if Durga Pujo is there can Kolkata be far behind? But the Pujo itself made me feel a million times more depressed. It was not Pujo at all. There was no Pujo feeling. It was just a podium for fashion show. An annual display of the Dhakais and Jamdanis and Kanjeeverams along with the latest on P.C Chandra and Anjali Jewellers.  I am not kidding when I say that there was an actual booth for P.C Chandra jewellers along with booths for expensive saris and punjabis. In the sub zero temperature(-4 C to be exact) it was a show of backless cholis, slinky blouses, and flat abs peeking behind transparent pallus. Ma was there as a backdrop for taking pictures. I went and stood in front of the idols to just hang my head and reminiscence. In like about 2 seconds I heard, 'Young lady can you please move to the side?" because Ganesh was being dismantled. The hall had to be cleared for the concert to follow. So bye bye Bhagwan. " Asche bochor abar hobe."

The Pujor adda was there in the form of gossip (which was sort of right on track). But the adda had its own added forced accent. Why is it that people don't get that it is very easy to differentiate between a natural accent and a forced accent ? And speaking Bangla as if it will break your teeth is far FAR from appealing.

I ended up being even more depressed after going to that Pujo. The saving graces were ASP. (The moment she entered she was like "P you will not like this Pujo. This is EXACTLY like Bangalore Pujo") , the "Desh pujobarshiki", the not so yummy Fish Fry and the very yummy Shammi Kebab.

My experience in the Amreecan Village : My two recent brush with the Amreeci security.

It is summer and the season of sight seeing in this country. It is like everyone is out and about and obviously I have to be out too. Even though I am still limping around with a giant leg brace. So last weekend VP, ASP and I along with RR (one of VP's friends) decided to pay the Lady herself a visit. We had to get on the cruise from Liberty Park NJ and there was a security screening set up. After having to walk for about 20 mins from the parking lot to the security screening my leg was already giving away. In the line I kept my bag in the designated tray for me. The security guards notices my brace and this is the conversation that followed.

SG : Mam you will need to take off your braces.
Me : I cannot walk if I take them off.
SG : Please stand there mam.

Then they waited for a woman security officer to come. In the meanwhile the whole line behind me was held up. A female security officer arrives. I was wearing shorts, a cotton blouse, a scarf, glasses and sandals.

SG : Mam take off your scarf and your glasses.
Me : My glasses?
SG : Yes Mam.
Me : OK.

I take all these things off and put them in a tray.

SG : Please take off your shoes mam.
Me : I need to sit in order to take my shoes off.

At this point ASP crosses over and helps me with my shoes.

SG : Do you have a belt mam ? Is there anything in your pocket mam.
Me : No

I cross through the metal detector and the female security officer pats me down. She puts her hands as far as it would go under my shirt and under my shorts. Then she gives me a chair, asks me to sit and take my braces off so that they can screen the braces through the xray machine once again.



This time while coming back through JFK my experience with the immigration was rather amusing as well. I was already in a wheel chair when the officer started asking me a bunch of question. I am just jotting down the interesting portions of that conversation.

O : So what do you do here ?
Me : I work for IBM.
O : I can see that. What sort of work?
Me : ( At this point I am thinking, just because you have a computer in front of you does not mean you will understand anything about Middleware Administration ) I am a Middleware Web Content Developer and Administrator.
O : Where do you stay mam?
Me : I give him my address.
O : Why are you going to NJ from here if you live in PA?
Me : My friend lives there and I am going to crash at her place because of the knee and all.
O : (After a minute of silence) So where are you coming from.
Me : India
O : Did something happen to you in India ?
Me : Excuse me?
O : Are you here for treatment and recovery ?
Me : No. Something happened to me here and I went to India for treatment and recovery.
O : ( Another minute of silence and then looking at the airport staff who was helping me ) She can go now.


On this Liberty Island trip we also went to Ellis Island. Not much has changed between then and now. The Amereeci sarkaar still treats the immigrants as aliens. Not good enough for human status. But as their own documentary says, America was and still is a "Country of Immigrants." That is what sometimes makes it bearable to stay away from family and friends. And just because no matter what, we should always have that sense of humour, here is a happy. smiley picture with the Lady Liberty in the background.

The Transaero Experience : Amreeca to India

I like bargains. Always have. Always will. In Kolkata I am an expert haggler when it comes to street-side shopping. I think it is a genetic gift from my mother. My friends usually stay away from me and pretend that they do not recognize me when I am in the middle of a heated bargaining session. I once managed to get a pajama for free from a Gariahat vendor. He was so frustrated with my bargaining that he said "Ei nin. Tahole free tei niye jan"( Just take it for free.) He was obviously trying to be sarcastic. He did not realize that I would actually put the pajama in my bag and start walking. In my defence he did say it.

So while coming back from Amreeca for my 3 and a half week of breather to Kolkata I was looking for a bargain. And I landed on Transaero Airlines. It was atleast 500 bucks cheaper than its closest competitor. No one in my circle of family, or friends, or colleagues knew or even heard about it.  Before confirming my ticket I googled Transaero and Moscow airport thoroughly. I saw that it had below average rating and most of it was because of poor in-flight entertainment.

Well here is my experience flying Transaero. The good, the bad and the ugly(which was probably not the airlines fault).

Flight from JFK to Moscow
============================================

1. I, owing to my very famous right operated leg, had taken wheelchair assistance. KB was flying with me which was a big big big humoungous help. I requested for a wheelchair at the checkin counter before getting the boarding pass. We were told by many that we displayed amazing ignorance by not doing a web check in, but even then we did get seats side by side in both the flights. The staff was quite considerate about it. After waiting for about 10 minutes I got a wheelchair.
2. As KB put it, my pain was her gain. Thanks to the wheelchair we breezed through security, and the staff was nice enough to stop at a restroom for me. He wheeled me right to the gate. Just before boarding started for everyone else another wheelchair appeared and they wheeled me to the gates of the flight.
3.  The flight was clean and full. The stewards and stewardesses were very good looking. The issue was their English was a little broken. They took my crutch and stowed it away safely.
4. After the flight was in flight(I am not sure if that is a tautological error) everyone got blankets but no pillows. Now this was bizzare. I specifically asked for pillows and they explained that pillows were only for babies. That is  bad according to me. In a long 9 hour long flight you should provide pillows to your flyers.
5. The in-flight entertainment had a host of popular Hollywood movies and shows. Each seat had its own personal video screen. The catch. Everything was in Russian with no subtitles. This was not a very big issue for me because I had my own entertainment. KB.
6. The food on this flight was actually quite good. There were a big group of orthodox Jewish students flying and the flight had special Kosher meals for them.
I had an interesting conversation with the flight attendants before I got my lunch.
Pretty Flight Attendant (in broken English) : You ordered special veg mean.
Me : No
PFA : Yes you did.
Me : No
PFA : But it says you did.
Me : Ok give me the veg dish.
PFA : But we no have veg dish. We only have fish dish.

I got fish a-la-kiev with mashed potatoes which was quite tasty. They served a veg salad which had a piece of ham in it. There were two breads. My advice. Do not eat them. And a bar of chocolate.

They served a second meal. I took eggs and sausages which was again quite tasty. KB took french toast. She was not a fan.

There was tea, coffee, different kind of juices and soda but no ginger ale. I did not see any alcohol. (On a completely different note. I have decided to take Thumbs Up from Kolkata and bring back Ginger Ale from the US)
7. My seat was perfect with enough leg space even for my broken leg. KB's backrest kept on sliding back even when the button was not pressed.
8. The flight was smooth and the landing applause worthy. It was also in time.
9. As mentioned there was a bunch of pubescent Jewish boys on the flight. Even in all their orthodox finery they were indisciplined monsters. I wanted to throw them off the flight. These were a bunch of typical "badhe baapke bigde huye aulad" They would hit my leg and murmer sorry and continue to do the same. They hit KB while she was sleeping. They also decided the spot just in front of our seat was the coolest place to hangout. they were loud and unruly and their caretakers were useless. I wish the flight attendants handled the situation better and made them quieten down for the other passengers.


Flight from  Moscow to New Delhi
============================================

1. The way Moscow airport got me in the flight is what sci-fi movies are made up off. The flight was from Gate 37. The staff got me out of Gate 21. Then a ramp came down and I was put in the ramp along with my wheelchair. The ramp automatically started moving and I was inside a truck. Te truck drove straight to the plane. Then the whole truck with everyone inside lifted up. Another ramp came out till the door of the flight. It was just oh-so-cool.
2. This one was a smaller flight and was completely empty. The staff (who again really pretty Russians with broken English) were nice enough and let me take a seat in the middle where there were three seats so that I could stretch my legs. I ended up completely lying down.
3. We got the blankets but this time KB took matters into her own hands and found the stash of pillows and got us a couple.
4. The in-flight entertainment was non-existant in the form of a giant screen at the front of the flight which showed whatever the pilot fancied I guess.
5. As for food I got chicken for myself and KB got fish. The chicken with rice was rathar nice a version of Lila Majumdar's pishpash with boiled carrots. The fish was apparently quite bad. This time also there veg salad had a giant chunk of raw fish. I am not sure what else they served because I slept through that. And ofcourse there was tea, coffee, juices and sodas.
6. The flight was before time and the landing once again impeccable.
7. As soon as I landed in Delhi there was a staff with a wheelchair for me. We were at the extreme last gate and this is something I would like to mention specifically. I offered him cash, because I thought this is India and all that. He did not take it. He said "Thank You Ma'am. I was only doing my job."

When I was flying back to Kolkata from New Delhi via Indigo, both the staff was actually expecting me to pay them for pushing me in the wheelchair.

All in all I would actually recommend Transaero. Carry your own entertainment and stock up on some food. From functionality, safety, security, punctuality and cost effectiveness, it is a good choice. I will confirm my opinion after I return to the States. I have my tickets on the same flight.

P.S. - Moscow airport does not accept Dollars. It only accepts Rubles and some shops might accept Credit Cards. Best is to have some Russian currency with you. 1 Russian Ruble == 1.15 INR.

The shorts Story

I have grown up in a bustling metropolitan city. My parents are moderately liberal. My dad never really cared much about clothes in general or what I wore in particular. Even as a kid when I would ask him for money to buy clothes his general response was always " Why do you need money for rags?". But if I said I needed money for books he would actually give me extra money. My mother on the other hand was and still is a little too opinionated about what I wear. She does not really mind what I wear when I am out with my friends. But when it comes to me visiting my relatives she always insists that I wear a salwar suit or saris (something grown up and traditional). She also tells me that traditional clothes suit my body type better ( what she means is I am fat and I should not wear western outfits). But even me, just me, if I am in Kolkata I would not out of my own wear something above my knee or something off-shoulders or something like a spaghetti even during the hot sweltering months. And if I am absolutely honest a lot of it has to do with how I will be ogled at on the streets but a lot of it also has to do with how I will be get looks filled with judgment and disapproval by mostly other women on the road. I think, this is the reason that prompts my mother also. What other people would think if I bare too much skin.

The first incident happened in 2011 when I burned my leg. I remember I could not wear, leggings or jeans for obvious reasons. I tried wearing skirts a little below my knee but they would brush against my burn and that used to hurt mind-numbingly much. So I used to wear long skirts and saris when outside. Around the house, I used to wear shorts and nightshirts. The thought of wearing a short short outside, even when I was hurting because the fabric would brush against the burnt skin, did not ever cross my mind


The second incident is fresh. 2015 and my ACL repair. Dr M who is super efficient and has been very accommodating to my needs(which I appreciate so much that I actually want to voluntarily hug him at times) does not really mince his words. The first time I went to see him I was wearing knee length shorts which would be considered quite scandalous among  society at home. The conversation went something like this.

Dr M : Why are you not wearing shorts ?
Me : But I am.
Dr M : No something shorter. Much above your knee.
Me : How much shorter?
Dr M (pointing to my lower thigh) : This is where your final stitch is going to be. So something above that.
Me : I do not wear such shorts.
Dr M : Why?
Me (I did not know how to explain all these complex social rules I have grown up with and instead said what I believed was what everybody was thinking) : Because my legs are not nice.
Dr M : Aesthetically I have no comments. But if you want your legs to be nice from a functional point of view you will wear shorts. I cannot have anything touching my stitches."
At that point I was thinking the stitches are mine they will be on my leg. But the option was clear. I would risk showing ugly leg rather than have an infected leg.

I bought three pair of shorts. I figured it would tide me over 6 weeks of recovery. I have been moving around in them. At first I was a liitle uncomfortable. Not only am I wearing shorts for the first time after puberty, I was not allowed to take a bath for two weeks. Now, although I am allowed to take a bath, I am still not allowed to scrub my leg let alone shave it. So I have been to a hospitals, across state lines, beaches and a bank in shorts with unshaven leg. Guess what ? Nobody cared. Nobody gave a second glance. Well actually they did to ask me if my leg was okay because of the braces. Nobody asked why my legs are not shaved or why I am wearing shorts. People usually made way for me and helped me

Till today morning that is. I went to the bank today in NJ and there was a lady in a salwar suit with her husband. I was there with VP. The looks that she gave me. I had forgotten that look. One full of disapproval and viciousness. She moved a little closer to her husband and then she saw I was with VP and gave VP a look too. A look of  "How can you let your woman wear what she is wearing."

I am supposed to land in Kolkata in 10 days. I wonder what happens if I land up in my city wearing shorts ? I will be judged won't I ? In my own city ? Does this really mean I am somehow disrespecting my culture??

"Motion se hi emotion" or "Pupu misses her poop"

The last post talks about me visiting Dr Kathleen with a twisted knee post Zumba. That happened a month and a half back.

A lot has happened since then. In short after meeting Dr Kathleen and then Dr H and then getting an MRI and then meeting Dr H and then meeting Dr M, I finally got my knee surgery done last Tuesday that is 26thMay 2015. The medical system in the U.S. is crazy and complicated and is like navigating through a treacherous maze. I also had to sign about 8 different agreements before I got the surgery and also got asked 7 times if I have a living will. If I don't would I like to get in touch with someone who can help me draw a draft. Let me just say that hearing that I need a living will right before a knee surgery is not what keeps my spirits up.

The day of the surgery I actually flew in a red-eye from Portland. One of my biggest fears during the surgery was that I would not go completely down under or I would wake up in the middle of the surgery. I made my fears  known very strongly and I guess I was given anesthesia accordingly. I did not wake up at all. Moreover the pain killers that were pumped into me made me just simply pass out from time to time. I am eating yogurt and I would pass out with the spoon in my hand. I would pass out with cheese sticks inside my mouth. I would switch on the TV with all intentions of watching something and yes just simply pass out. I would wake up and tell ASP that she and VP are part of a Charlie Chaplin movie and pass out again.

As highly annoying as that was it was not even as frustrating as what I am going through right now. My poop has vanished. There is no poop coming out of my system. And today is the 4th day. It is not even like I feel bloated or constipated. I am eating more than my 14,000 calories a day because of all the meds but still no poop. I could not eat hot or spicy stuff for the last three days but now I can start I am guessing. As I am sipping my glass of prune juice I am hoping that something will work its magic. Some super effective remedy will present itself sooner or later. If nothing works I will call KB and talk to her till something comes out.

At this point all I can say is that "Pupu misses her poop".