The shorts Story

I have grown up in a bustling metropolitan city. My parents are moderately liberal. My dad never really cared much about clothes in general or what I wore in particular. Even as a kid when I would ask him for money to buy clothes his general response was always " Why do you need money for rags?". But if I said I needed money for books he would actually give me extra money. My mother on the other hand was and still is a little too opinionated about what I wear. She does not really mind what I wear when I am out with my friends. But when it comes to me visiting my relatives she always insists that I wear a salwar suit or saris (something grown up and traditional). She also tells me that traditional clothes suit my body type better ( what she means is I am fat and I should not wear western outfits). But even me, just me, if I am in Kolkata I would not out of my own wear something above my knee or something off-shoulders or something like a spaghetti even during the hot sweltering months. And if I am absolutely honest a lot of it has to do with how I will be ogled at on the streets but a lot of it also has to do with how I will be get looks filled with judgment and disapproval by mostly other women on the road. I think, this is the reason that prompts my mother also. What other people would think if I bare too much skin.

The first incident happened in 2011 when I burned my leg. I remember I could not wear, leggings or jeans for obvious reasons. I tried wearing skirts a little below my knee but they would brush against my burn and that used to hurt mind-numbingly much. So I used to wear long skirts and saris when outside. Around the house, I used to wear shorts and nightshirts. The thought of wearing a short short outside, even when I was hurting because the fabric would brush against the burnt skin, did not ever cross my mind


The second incident is fresh. 2015 and my ACL repair. Dr M who is super efficient and has been very accommodating to my needs(which I appreciate so much that I actually want to voluntarily hug him at times) does not really mince his words. The first time I went to see him I was wearing knee length shorts which would be considered quite scandalous among  society at home. The conversation went something like this.

Dr M : Why are you not wearing shorts ?
Me : But I am.
Dr M : No something shorter. Much above your knee.
Me : How much shorter?
Dr M (pointing to my lower thigh) : This is where your final stitch is going to be. So something above that.
Me : I do not wear such shorts.
Dr M : Why?
Me (I did not know how to explain all these complex social rules I have grown up with and instead said what I believed was what everybody was thinking) : Because my legs are not nice.
Dr M : Aesthetically I have no comments. But if you want your legs to be nice from a functional point of view you will wear shorts. I cannot have anything touching my stitches."
At that point I was thinking the stitches are mine they will be on my leg. But the option was clear. I would risk showing ugly leg rather than have an infected leg.

I bought three pair of shorts. I figured it would tide me over 6 weeks of recovery. I have been moving around in them. At first I was a liitle uncomfortable. Not only am I wearing shorts for the first time after puberty, I was not allowed to take a bath for two weeks. Now, although I am allowed to take a bath, I am still not allowed to scrub my leg let alone shave it. So I have been to a hospitals, across state lines, beaches and a bank in shorts with unshaven leg. Guess what ? Nobody cared. Nobody gave a second glance. Well actually they did to ask me if my leg was okay because of the braces. Nobody asked why my legs are not shaved or why I am wearing shorts. People usually made way for me and helped me

Till today morning that is. I went to the bank today in NJ and there was a lady in a salwar suit with her husband. I was there with VP. The looks that she gave me. I had forgotten that look. One full of disapproval and viciousness. She moved a little closer to her husband and then she saw I was with VP and gave VP a look too. A look of  "How can you let your woman wear what she is wearing."

I am supposed to land in Kolkata in 10 days. I wonder what happens if I land up in my city wearing shorts ? I will be judged won't I ? In my own city ? Does this really mean I am somehow disrespecting my culture??