Ladies Last

CM is a very simple girl or perhaps a woman who happens to be a consultant. CM has worked 5.5 years in the same project 4 years in India and 1.5 years from the client location. CM has worked very hard and shown her merit and has gotten good reviews and ratings 4 out of those 5.5 years including her very last appraisal.

Incidentally CM is the only one belonging to the XX chromosomes gene pool and works with 12 other people who are XY chromosomes.

This incident is one particular incident that happened one particular day but is quite indicative of the kind of behaviour CM, and I am sure most other women have to constantly face at work.


So on this day a very senior lead from CM's India office visits CM's client location. A meeting is obviously arranged. Most meetings like this are CM's nightmare. So the senior lead walks in to the meeting room. Let us call him GD. He sits down and he says, "This is the third team I am meeting and this is the thing with every team. 1 ' LADIES' and rest 'GENTLEMEN'. Is this your plan? But there is no gender bias here and so no Ladies First Business here. "

Everyone around the table laughs a little. CM forces resemblance of a smile.

The meeting continues with expression of gratitude but also the dire times ahead. How the (human)resources have worked hard but ofcourse need to work harder. How they should expand their horizon and no not go travelling, but find new problems in the client architecture so that they can make the clients realize how inadequate they are and then give the client the solutions themselves like the great Houdini and let them know how indispensable CM's team specifically and her company in general are. Ofcourse it ends with the future prospects of CM's company and the new projects that they have acquired. The two recent large projects acquired by CM's company are two luxury brands. One related to Women's beauty product and the other is a well know designer brand for handbags. And GD concludes with "We should find this exciting specially the Ladies right?" He looks at CM and smiles. Now CM has learnt to keep her mouth shut in situations like this. Except CM's expressions gets the better of her sometimes. To CM it obviously does not matter if her company has acquired the project of a client who sells overpriced (and overhyped) handbags or a client who sells toilet cleaners as long as it means that her company gets revenues and profits which percolates down to her. Just one sentence escapes CM's lips. "Ofcourse. Since they will be giving us LADIES free stuff."

Everyone in the room starts laughing. CM wonders if they are laughing at the sarcasm or they think that is actually funny.

Belated Happy New Year 2016

It is another new year. People all over the globe have celebrated absolutely nothing changing. It is not like the refugee crisis will  eradicate, or the giant chemical/automobile/oil corporations of the world will start investing more money in solving global warming. Last year it was Lahore,Paris, Baghdad, and this year it was Pathankot,Turkey, Kenya. The ISIS-s and the Boka Harems and the Pakistan militants. and the Maobadis they will all exist just like the head of nations and all of us, the normal regular people, be sacrificed as collateral damage.

A world where children are slaughtered in the name of religion, women are raped, mutilated, burned without any hesitation for sport, where men are killed because of what he eats, needs to change. There needs to be an upheaval. Every single one of us, the normal collateral expendables, need to stand against injustice and speak up, for each other and for ourselves. We cannot keep on hiding anymore behind fear, behind societal diktats. And when that change happens, when we can truly identify ourselves as decent human beings that is when we should celebrate.

Basantika

Today is Poila Boisakh. The auspicious beginning of new year and the end of Bosonto.

I am not sure why I am writing this down today as this incident happened atleast a couple of weeks back. It happened in the middle of Bosanto. But it stayed with me.

My cousin RJ is a singer. She was performing in Deshapriyo Park as part of an annual concert "Basantika" arranged by her school of music. This was just a week after Holi. The weather was perfect with a cool breeze flowing. I made myself commfortable on the carpet with my mother and my aunt. There were all these lovely young(at heart definitely) men and women from the age of  4 to 60 dressed in the colours of Spring sitting around me with bright coloured Abir smeared quite artistically on their cheeks. There were dance recitals and songs and poetry recitals. There were artists painting large canvases with the hues of yellow and orange and red and green. There was this ambiance and energy of creativity and appreciation and everyone was enthralled, engrossed and enamoured by it.

And there were this group of girls between the age of 4 to 6. All dressed up in saris and jewelleries with flowers in their hair. They were playing among themselves, throwing flowers at each other(something very Shantiniketan about it) and then suddenly I noticed two street kids among them. The younger one was about three and the older one, perhaps four. At first they sat at quite a distance and  looked at the group of girls playing rathar tentatively. Then the younger one took a handful of flowers and threw at the nearest girl. The girl  threw it back at the child and slowly but steadily the two kids became a part of the group. Playing with them, laughing with them and enjoying with them. Then came the food packets. I actually instinctively found myself concentrating more on the kids than on the concert from that moment on. The little girls actually even shared their food with them. Like buddies. Eating from the same packet. I must admit. In my adult mind I was cringing thinking perhaps this is not the most hygenic thing to do. The little girls did not care or bother. As far as they were concerned they had made two new friends and they were sharing. And then suddenly a group of slightly older girls around the age of 10 to 12 came with their food packets. The older girls dissaproved of the situation visibly. One of the older girls gave the two kids a packet and a bottle of water and showed them the way out. I am sure that this is what is considered an act of kindness. But there was also this sense of demarcation in that act of kindness. Like the girls were in some sort of a higher position to feel sorry or pity for the two kids. They could show kindness to them but not consider them at par. Perhaps not even consider them human. The  way those little girls were behaving was much more humane, much more real. They were fighting about who gets the piece of cake like they would with friends, with equals.

I wonder when this sense that we are better, that we are privileged creeps inside us ? When does it become them and us? When do they cease to become perhaps even people ?

With the sun setting, sitting in the middle of this beautiful, cultural ambiance, I could not shake away the melancholy from my soul. Because I have myself grown up. I can never do what those little girls did.

The Master, The Mistress and The Bachelor of Arts.

Disclaimer : I did record all of their voices, but when I came back and replayed the recording it was all gibberish. So this entire post is from memory. 

Location :  A very well known silver shop in Hoggs Market(popularly known as New Market).

It is a Saturday afternoon. This tiny shop is very busy as usual and brimming with customers. I was here a week back and had wanted this particular piece of earring which they were  nice enough to bring. Me, KB and SB as usual are also checking out 75 other different things. This shop has an array of breathtaking pieces of jewellery and every time I come here I keep on wishing if only I could afford to buy every piece they have. I am pretty sure I will not even mind the duplicates. But this Saturday I had another agenda. I wanted to feature them in my blog.

NAME : Vashi
AGE : 60
ETHNICITY : Sindhi

From the first day itself I like this vital middle-aged man. He always has a friendly smile and is quick but genuine with his compliments. He reminiscences about his grandfather who came and settled in Kolkata from Sindh Punjab post India partition. The shop he tells me was established in  1962. This shop was also his father's baby. He used to be an accountant in a reputed Engineering office and did not initially have much interest in the shop. Now he is nurturing his father's dreams by taking forth the tradition. He also mentions that his son (who is his constant companion) is very interested and he is happy to transfer the responsibility to his capable hands.
He talks about the Kolkata of the 60's and the people then and the people now and how the customer's profile have changed throughout all these years.
He asks me jokingly about the Prince Charming in my life with a twinkle in his eye.
He is one of those very few people who know how to live their life to the fullest and be happy and makes others smile around him.

NAME : Rupa
AGE : 56
ETHNICITY : Sindhi

Rupa just like her brother has an easy smile and a friendly attitude. But at the same time it is easy to figure our her deep perceptive inner core.Talking with her reveals more and I wanted to talk with her more. It felt like she believes in the same philosopy of life as me. Also she is one of the very few people who guessed my age correctly. She is a professor and she is single. She lives by herself. I asked her if she has any pets and she told me she does not. She said she is happiest with herself. She talked about how losing her elder brother suddenly made her seek solace in meditation and spirituality. She has this aura of calm reassurance and she imparts it to everyone around her.

NAME :  Vinayak
AGE : 23
ETHNICITY : Sindhi

The cutest looking boy with a shy yet charming demeanor enticing with his lovely pretty fares. He feels like the life of the shop. He is passionate about this shop and it shows. He even designs some of the jewellery himself. His father calls onto him for every minute details and he seems to know all those minute details. He is calm and collected and seems to be everywhere at the same time. The only time I noticed he looked a little uncomfortable was when he had to bargain with two older ladies. But he was polite and firm with them at the same time. It was highly admirable. He is also the solver of all problems silver. All you need to do is present him with the problem and he will definitely resolve it. He also likes dancing and was sweet enough to invite three of us to his concert.

For me personally it feels great just being in the shop and talking with them and looking at all the pretty things. They never force you to buy. They never stop you from trying. The never tire from showing you whatever you want to see. And they do it with a warm and friendly smile.


Actual Address: Asian Arts , F61 New Market. Kolkata - 700067.

SANDIP

• NAME : Sandip
• AGE : 25
• LOCATION : Rabindra Sarabor(Lily pool aka NO LOVER's POINT)
• PROFESSION : Art Student.
• ETHNICITY : Bangali

Me and KB took a long cut through the lakes one afternoon while on our way to lunch to Mandarin. We ambled along and we were accompanied by BP and MKRR and were just ambling around beside the lake. They were visiting our city from Blore and KB decided to take them to "No Lover's Point" i.e. the Lily Pool. As we enter we saw two boys sitting there with their canvas and their art supply and lost in their painting. They were painting the trees and did not even look at us goofing around. I went up to one of them and asked him his name. He replied without even looking up "Sandip". At this point I inquired if I can go ahead and bother him a little. He looked up a little startled and then said "You are not disturbing me".

Me : Do you come here often?

S : Yes

Me : Why here?

S : Because of the trees

Me : But why trees?

S : Because a tree has rhythm, it grows, it has life and it is its ownself ! That is why.

Me : Is it not difficult to depict a tree in your painting ?

S : I am not sure I get you.

Me : A tree is not stagnant. It constantly moves. The leaves move. How do you capture that in your painting?

S : Well that is the secret. Until I can capture that I will never be a true artist. There are some paintings where you can feel that the tree is moving that the river is flowing. That is a true painting.

Me : Do you have any favourite painter ? Are you inspired by someone?

S : As a student Everyone is my favourite. I must learn from all of them.

KB : Where did you study before joining Art College?

S (smiling to himeself): Before Art College I studied Mechanical Engineering Diploma for 3 years because of my parents and that is what they wanted. 

Me: Dear LORD ! I understand what you mean.

S: But I hated it. I was unhappy. I hated  everything. I hated working and so I quit and joined Art College.

Me : But tell me something, even Mechanical Engineering has Art and Drawing and sketches.

S (looks at me as if I am the stupidest person on earth) : But they are not trees. They don't have Life.


P.S : Picture courtesy BP(Black Peeper).

Fairer Sex

• NAME : Not known

• AGE : Between 25 to 35

• LOCATION : V9 Bus

• GENDER : Male (XY chromosome)

• ETHNICITY : Probably North Indian

CONTEXT : I got a call from work while I was hanging on to an almost unreachable handhold in the middle of the bus. My TL who is also a species of the XX Chromosome wanted to discuss about the progress of my SSL implementation in WPS 8.5 server. It was supposed to be a fresh installation. [For all the non-techie people I apologize profusely]. Hearing me talk over the phone a not so bad looking guy appreciatively looks at me and the following conversation happens. 

XY : You're the first person of the fairer sex that I've heard talking about LDAP and SSL.

Me : That seems unlikely. There are lots of women in the profession.

XY :  You are probably aware of it because you are somehow related to technology or aware of it. Let alone women, I doubt if most men care about websites with SSL and make payment with credit cards . It is surprising to find a woman who knows and talk about it with so much confidence.

Me (I got one of my crazy thoughts which I just said out loud) : "Fairer Sex". I wonder why this term was coined ? Is it for the colour of the skin of the general XX chromosomes. (Seems unlikely and frankly biased). Perhaps it is because of the judgement capability of majority of the XX chromosomes species. 

XY : I really don't know or care why the term 'fairer sex' was coined. I just find it that sounds better than calling someone 'female' - that's just rude.

Me (I felt that he was trying to be nice but that answer "slightly" rubbed me the wrong way) : Why is it assumed that more men will know about SSL and women wont ? Why is calling someone 'female' rude? Is calling someone 'male' rude ? Why is 'BE LIKE A MAN' a positive advice ? And simultaneously 'YOU ARE BEING SUCH A WOMAN' is always perceived in the derogatory sense? 

XY : I don't know and frankly I don't care to comment on why certain things are generally acceptable in society and others aren't. Maybe you should take it up for your next doctoral thesis. 

Me : Tell me what do you do care about ? Leaving your seat for a woman or the elderly is also generally acceptable in society and infact considered commendable.Never seen you caring about that either.  


After this conversation it was obviously not prudent to ask him if I could take a picture.

But every step of the way I am amazed as to how derogatory comments about women are ingrained in our society. 

Also this apparently is the reason why I will be single for the rest of eternity. Because even when a guy is trying to make conversation with me I find things such as this(read Kolkata is full of sexist "male") and turn off like 1990 Kolkata electricity supply. 

IF ONLY

The short film, in French and directed by Éléonore Pourriat, shows a father taking his kid to kindergarten and going through the rest of his day facing catcalls, sexist remarks, sexual assault, and contempt.

Devarchan and Sayanton or The Kool Kul Story.

At the beginning of this post I would like to profusely apologize because I will not be able to post a picture. I had taken a very kool picture of both of them eating kul . But I lost my phone and along with my phone their pictures and their details. I remembered the name of Devarchan (probably because I asked him to repeat his name some 17 times) and the rest as they say is Google .

• Name : Devarchan and Sayanton
• Age : 20 and 20
• Profession : Engineering Students
• Ethnicity : Bangali
• Location : Mini Bus from rubi

Let us go back to the beginning of the story. It was a winter Wednesday evening. On my way back to(TO and not from) work I decided to take a detour through Gariahat. So I got on a bus from Rubi and promptly sat down on the first available seat. Two boys got up and looked around. There was only one seat left and both of them in the spirit of brotherhood decided to stand.

The first boy (whose name I later found out was Devarchan) offered the second boy( a million point for whoever guesses his name) Kul.

For those who are thinking what is this thing called Kul (jake banglay bole khay na mathay makhe?), it is a kind of fruit and here is a picture.

But I digress as usual. So here is the conversation that forced me to feature these two in here.

D (offering a Kul to S) : Here have a Kul.
S : Nooooo. Thank You.
D. But why? They are awesome !
S : Nooooo. Thank  You.
D. But why ?
S : I don't like them. They are so sour.
D : But these are not those type of Kul. These are Narkeli Kul, They are delicious.
S : Actually I am scared of them.
D (pushes a Kul into S's hand) : Everyday you should do something that scares you (shitless!)
S (all eager to face his fears gives a tentative bite) : I actually like it. I don't know why I was scared of it.

At this point C(that is me) tentatively poked S and politely asked both of them if she could feature them in her blog. They both agreed. Posed for a picture too. D was nice enough to offer a Kul to C just before she was ready to get off.

P.S - So after C googled Devarchan and hunted his gmail id, C actually mailed him asking for a picture of him and his friend and also his friend's name. By popular opinion , does this qualify C as a weirdo ?

P.P.S - Thank you Devarchan for reverting back to my email and mailing me your friend's name. 

Social Experiment 4 : Spit like a MAN !!

So I have watched Titanic about 20 odd times and I remember most of the dialogues by heart. Yes I know super sappy of me. But who cares? Not me. And not the 51 odd men who spat in the middle of the road with elan !(What I mean is that they don't care. In general.Not about me watching titanic.) Should I also just include the two guys who blew their nose? Oh I feel whimsical, so I will. So the count is 53.

Let me reminiscence a little and tell you people how this idea actually came to my head. KB and I were walking down Southern Avenue on a perfectly nice evening when a shining black i10 came and halted because of the red light, just beside us. A guy in a shining black shirt which matched the colour of his i10 made this noise as if he was trying to regurgitate his intestines and then spat just beside us on the middle of the road. Sadly me and KB are not fans of this fine art of spitting( and perhaps never will be) and our reactions were spontaneous. I said something on the lines of "Ekta tene thappor marte hoy"( He deserves a tight slap). and KB said "Shala Idiot"( I am not really sure how to translate Shala to english). The guy obviously having mastered this art-form thought himself above us and drove his super shiny car away without even batting an eyelash. And then KB exclaimed in a disgusted tone that she wants to do an experiment on people spitting in the middle of the road.

And so the thought remained with me. And today while coming back from Rajarhat to Tollygaunge via Selimpur and Charu Market, I decided that I will actually record and count the number of people who spat on the road. These people are from various strata of society and their way of spitting also varies greatly. Some are silent, some are almost musical. Some are just spit and phlegm while most are red-tinted tobacco spit. But then they have two things in common. Everyone seems to be quite proud that they are using the road as their personal spit bowl and all of them were men. I am sure women spit as well but I did not witness a single one.

I know our Chief Minister wants to paint the city in hues of white and blue, but if only she gave the spitters of the city a chance, they would have painted it in shades of red and that too for free.(No pun intended. Only paan intended). They infact are so considerate and selfless that they already are painting the city incessantly. Maybe just like in "Lage Raho Munna Bhai" the next time we see someone spit we should go and smile and say "Thank You for painting the city red."

And as I end this post I leave you with the immortal lines of Rose and Jack...........

P.S. - Also have anyone noticed that people seem to spit more where there is a No Spitting sign?

Social Experiment 3 on the Ferry

Hey that rhymes !!

Me and KB boarded the normal ferry from BabuGhat which goes to Shibpur last Friday. We wanted to enjoy the Ganga, and this very unique ride.

We climbed up on the deck and there were mostly men on the deck and one other Muslim woman in a borkha.

Suddenly the helper on the boat tell us that ladies must go down and points to this hell hole underneath which is dark and dinghy and gets no air or sunshine. We first said no nicely and then I added that if I go inside I will definitely get motion sickness. Then most of the other guys joined him and kept on telling us that we have to go inside. First their logic was that we will  fall off board. Since we have XX chromosomes instead of XY we will obviously somehow manage to hurl ourselves over the railing accidentally. Then when we refused to move and also steadfastly was not paying them any attention the driver started honking the horn. As per him we were blocking his view. There were atleast 50 other men on that deck and we were the only two blocking the view. I guess it could be because we have breasts and that can be distracting. Then a random guy who was not even on the boat told us that we must go inside. We refused again and asked him to give us one good reason. He said if he has to give us one reason then it would go on forever. This was the rule. I then told him to show me the rule book. At that the men finally realizing that we were not going to give in said if we were so confident then we should stand at the lower deck, which did not even have any railing. At this point ofcourse no one was concerned about the fact that we might fall over. Infact it felt like they wanted us to slip and fall over. Just then a really old lady with her granddaughter came on board and she had to face the same harassment from everyone.They wanted even the old lady to climb down the steep stairs. I am so proud that she silently refused and continued to sit on the lower deck.

When the boat landed KB was one of the first people to jump off. I was about to follow when I realized that the men were trampling over the old lady. She was protesting feebly saying " Why everyone was pushing her." The men actually replied that she deserved it since she chose to sit up on the deck. I gave her my hand to hold onto and heard one of the men say to me "Why can't you get off the boat now if you are so confident ?" None of the men came to help the old woman down. At this point I shouted for KB and asked her to come help the old woman. Some other men who were not on the boat suddenly realized that a girl is summoning another girl for help. Their chivalry suddenly being awaken, they helped the old lady down.

This particular incident felt a bit like a social class thing but more that we belong to the female species thing. I guess the fact that we were of the female species, and perhaps a little higher up in the class ladder than them and refused to travel like livestock was reason enough to incite a boat full of men.

Since we are women it is again our fault ! How dare we challenge their male chauvinistic rule and refuse to travel in a dark airless hole ? How dare could we even want to enjoy the river and the breeze ? How dare we choose to stand their amidst the studly group of men? How dare we help another women ? And worse how dare we did not end up falling into the river ?

Sometimes I wonder what would they say if one day our Hon' Chief Minister decides to take the ferry. She happens to be the most powerful person in our State. But then our Hon' Chief Minister is a SHE. Will they demand that even she travels in that hole ? Because that happens to be the unsaid unwritten made up  rule ?

And just a reminder, the river happens to be a SHE herself. And she did help me from not wanting to punch the faces of all those people on board.

Social Experiment 2 with Me

Disclaimer : Contains strong language and worse, strong opinions by a woman !

It was New Year's Eve. I went to Kurry Klub with KB and SB for an early dinner.

This is what I was wearing
1. A red sweater.
2. A black and red skirt.
3. Black Stockings.
4. Red Wedges.
5. Kajal on my eyes and no makeup.

We were done by 9 p.m. and then we stopped at the Shop opposite HDFC ATM on Sarat Bose Road. We wanted to buy chocolates, water and Diet Coke. KB and SB were discussing something in rapt attention. As I was buying the things, a group of respectable looking boys/men came behind me. Initially I paid them no attention, but then my sixth sense told me that they were too close for comfort.

Suddenly, I was greeted with the compliment "Wah kya boobies hai !" followed by "Nice Ass."  At this point I tried to catch the attention of my friends but they were a little away and probably could not hear me. I told the shop keeper to hurry up. This seemed to somehow instigate the group. They continued " What's the hurry ? Some one's waiting for you ?" Then a second guy added. "Give her 500. She will wait for you then." Obviously this was the greatest joke of 2013 because it cracked all the boys up. To add to the jocular mood the first guy added "She might need a 1000. Can't you see her skirt is expensive ?"

What can I say  except  "It's my fault !" It was New Year's eve and how dare I thought that I could enjoy a nice dinner with my friends? How could I even dare to think it was alright for me to want to look pretty and wear a skirt? I should have known men have eyes. And, since men also have mouths and no control, it was only natural that they would compliment me !

Remember that scene from Rowdy Rathore where Akshay Kumar pinches Sonakshi Sinha's waist? When Sonakshi Sinha asks him why he did that, he explains saying that he did try to control but his hand had a mind of its own , therefore he was not to blame . Just his hands. It was Sonakshi Sinha in a sari and her waist that forced him to do it. And ofcourse Sonakshi Sinha enjoys being harassed since he is the hero of the movie. So how can we blame the men of this country for saying things or grazing past a girl's breast or pinching their butt or raping and brutally murdering them? They don't want to do it. It is just their impulse.

And as Kalki Kochlin says it, at the end of it all, " It is my fault ! " Because I am a woman.

Social Experiment1 with PB1

As part of this Social Experiment, I also decided to incorporate another social experiment. The general behaviour of the XY chromosomes towards the XX chromosomes in this city. Maybe I should have given the heading as Sub Social Experiment. Hmm !!

Anyways my friend PB1 (the rocking sport that she is) agreed to be my accomplice on this one or rather the main instrument to get this experiment rolling.

This is her and this was her attire for the day.
1. A pair of washed dark blue denims.
2. A grey tank top.
3. An orange hoodie.
4. Brown Wedges.
5. Pink dewy lipstick and eyeliner.

She is smart, sassy, gorgeous, independent and she can walk that walk where it feels that the busy crowded roads of Kolkata are infact her private runway podium. 

So she walked ahead and me and SB walked behind her. (Thank you SB for saying the things that you did say on that walk to all those men !)

We walked from Spanish Cafe, Sudder Street to Park Hotel. We crossed 63 men ranging from the age of 12 to 62, covering all social strata and out of them only 12 did not stare at her breasts. Nowhere else. Just at her breasts. Like deers in front of headlights. A few of them stared rather disapprovingly as to why a woman is wearing clothes of her choice and showing more than expected chest area. As to why she has not used a stole or or a muffler to suffocate herself but in the process sticking to good-old tradition by preventing these men from having to acknowledge the fact that women have breasts. Most of them stared like they have never seen anything like it before with open lust in their eyes. Some of them actually did double takes. One guy while holding his very cute girlfriend's hand did a double take. They were not looks of appreciation. All of them were staring as if she is a piece of meat that they need to taste(Pardon the language !).

P.S. -  I want to give a disclaimer here. This incident just happened. It was not planned really. After noticing the pattern with men and the general direction they were looking I brought it to PB1 and SB's attention. That is when I decided to write this in the blog and asked for PB1's permission. She ofcourse readily agreed.  

The Players

KB was feeling not so great and I wanted desperately to be out of the house last Sunday evening. We were both restless and was looking for some place which will help us calm our insides. KB said that we could go to Shibpur Botanical Gardens. We got on a cab and requested him to drop us off at Babughat. He instead dropped us off at Princep Ghat. From Princep Ghat we walked with the intention of reaching Babughat on foot. The banks of the river from Princep Ghat till Outram Ghat have recently been paved as part of the Ganga Beautification project. It is a commendable project and I think it needs to be applauded. Anyways so we went about asking people from where we can get a Ferry to Botanical Gardens. One very nice gentleman informed us that the Ferries do not ferry on Sundays.I wanted to watch the sunset at the least but KB does not like beautification. To her it is artificial and not organic enough. She then pleaded and proded me till I agreed to go to Bagbazar. We got on another cab and he took us to Bagbazar through these roads I have never been before. It is lined with palatial houses standing solemnly holding secrets, tall and grand even in their state of ruin. We finally get off at Bagbazar. The roads are narrow here and the river broad. The narrow lanes are lined with temples dedicated to different Gods. We went and sat and gazed at the river for hours. After the sun set we got up and walked to a road-side tea-shop. We ordered quintessential "dim toast" ( omelette wrapped bread). It was delicious. There were four boys playing cards sitting their on the cemented seats beside the river. This place is all lit up and we decided to sit and eat there.

Usually, the general reaction of most women (including mine) would be to avoid a group of boys just sitting and playing cards. I soon found out they were playing Call Bridge. We could hear bits and pieces of slangs floating our way as well. But they were talking among themselves and were totally absorbed in their game. I wanted to talk with them. One way to let go of my reservations and secondly was to humanize the female species to these boys too. I seriously doubt if any other women have approached them like this.

I started by telling them that I would like to take their picture and I will put it up on line. One of the boys, whose name I later learned to be Subroto simply got up and left. He was initially vehemently opposed to have his picture taken. He was telling the rest of the group that he might get into trouble with his parents later. I decided to ask my ultimate question to him, then and there.

I am trying to capture the snippet of conversation here but it is difficult because everyone was talking and cross talking. 

• NAME : Vivek , Mohit , Anirban , Subroto.
• AGE : 21 , 17 ,  19 and 22 respectively.
• LOCATION : Bagbazar Ghat.
• PROFESSION : Commerce Students.

Me : So what's your name ?

V : Vivek.

Me : How old are you?

V : 22.

Me (in an incredulous tone) : Seriously?

V : Not really I am 21 +.

Me : You are hardly 15 or maybe 16.

V : No I am 21.

M : He is telling the truth. He studies is 3rd year of college.

Me to KB : I have found my soul brother.

KB asks V :  How old do you think she is ?

V looks me up and down and stares at my eyes and guesses me to be about 6 years younger than my age. At this point KB looks at me and says in what she believes is a soothing tone, " Atleast he did not call you 15" .

Me : So what do you do V:

V : I study Accounts Honors. 

Me : So why do you come here to play? Why cards and why this place? How often do you play ?

All of them gives a collective reply which summarizes to that this place is convenient since all of them live nearby. And they gather at that point every Sunday.

V: I live just a little further away.

Me : Where ?

V : Rajarhat near CC2.

Me : It is not a little far away. It is  very far away.

V : Yes. It takes me an hour to get here. My parents think I have come to collect notes.

At this point I give him a very meaningful look as to I know all about class bunking and going off with friends( which I actually don't).

V : Are you a journalist?

Me : Absolutely not !

V : Why are you doing this ?

Me : A social experiment. (And I try to describe my intention behind this.)

V  : You are doing this voluntarily and you are not getting paid.

Me : Yes you are right.

V : So how old are you exactly ?

At this point I turn my attention to M.

Me : So what's your name?

M : Mohit.

Me : How old are you?

M : 17

Me : You are still in school !

M ( a little shyly) : Yes

Me : So what do you want to do when you grow up? Have you ever thought of making cards your profession ?

M (laughs at the degree of ridiculousness of my question) : No. My passion is guitar. I want to make that my profession. I also want to travel like a Hippie.

This was a strange answer. Something I did not expect:

Me : Why a Hippie ? What is the difference between travelling normally and like a hippie ?

M : I will have no responsibilities. No family ties, no liabilities and I will be free like a bird.

At this point KB asks M : Do you know any hippies ?

M : No, I have read about them.

V : He knows me. Every Sunday I travel from Rajarhat just to play. I have turned into a Hippie.

We all have a good hearty laugh on his comment.

Me : Is that what you want to do after you finish school ? Travel the world.

M : No I want to get a job in a call centre.

I was again surprised with this answer. At this point one of the guys got very irritated and said rathar harshly that he has to leave. If they are not playing then he does not want to hang around. So I obviously go and start bugging him more !

Me : What is your name and how old are you?

A : Anirban. I am 19 .

Me : Dont you feel cold? He was just wearing shorts and a tee and the temperature was about 12 C.

A ( a little flabbergasted) : Not much.

Me : Why are you so irritated ?

A : They are not concentrating and I am in a hurry.

Me :Or is it because that someone strange girl had descended on you and asking you absurd questions and ruining your game ?

A ( a little embarrassed) : No not at all. Actually we have "KaliPujo Bhasan" today. "Poush-kali."

Me : Oh ! So you will be coming back to this ghat ?

A : No we submerge the idols in Babu Ghat every year. 

Me : So you don't think that playing cards is bad, like your friend. ( I look pointedly at S). You are not running away because you are doing something you think you should not?

At this point S jumps in, because he knows that I said what I said because of his comment.

S : It is not that playing cards is bad. But our parents will not approve. They will get upset and fight as to why we came here to play cards.

A then adds : I play cards with my brother inside our house. So playing cards is not the problem.

Me : So is the place a problem ? Also what is your name and how old are you?

S : Subroto and I am 22.

Me : You study commerce as well ?

S: Yes

Me : So tell me what is wrong with this place? It is beautiful with the Ganga flowing by. It has all these cemented chairs. It is a comfortable place to come and hang. So much better than any malls in the city.

S : But the automatic assumption of people is that since boys meet here and play then something wrong must be happening. They must be into gambling and drugs. And this is something that you cant really exlain to parents.

At this point V played a bad hand and everyone had a heated argument and it was over in like 5 minutes.They gave up on their game and KB and me ended up having a adda session with them, panning their ideas and experiences and our ideas and experiences, from philosophy to human behaviour to social evils to what is happening in our city. In the middle of our discussion, a group of men around the age of 30 came and occupied another spot and started playing cards. They were getting rather irritated and expressing it. I have a suspicion, it maybe was because we were not paying any attention to them whatsoever and not because they were actually getting disturbed.

I will like to end this really long post with two quotes that stayed with me.

The first one from V. The only boy who unlike the other three did  not grow up beside the river. "Ganga is our guest. She keeps on moving but thankfully never leaves."

The second one from M. The 17 year old school boy who wants to travel the world like a hippie, and has no idea that a call centre job will crush his free bird spirit. " What we see all around us right now, is someone's imagination. A hallucination. And when this hallucination fades away, we as humans will not know how to cope. We will all be broken."

ABCD and Vishnu

I had grand Christmas Eve plans. As I have mentioned before I plan things way before hand. True to my nature I planned for this night for weeks. True to the way things have been with me over the past couple of years my plans had plans of not behaving according to my plans. For those of you who are not Sheldon, my plan bombed, badly and my Christmas Eve plan did end being grand. A grand failure.

Furious and disappointed at the same I decided not to make any Christmas plans. My friend KB called me me up and asked if I would want to go play badminton. One of my other friends SB decided to join us as well. We went to this park near Lake Gardens and started playing. Soon two kids came and at first stood patiently beside us. Then the older kid showed his interest and asked us very politely if he could please play with us. And this is how I was introduced to Vishnu and Nishant aka ABCD.

• Name :  Vishnu and Nishant aka ABCD.
• Age : 8 and 10 respectively.
• Profession : Student of Class II and IV respectively.    
• Location : Lake Gardens Park.       
• Ethnicity : Originally from Bihar. Atleast their parents are.   

They are brothers and little Vishnu idolizes his brother. For some reason I started calling Nishant, ABCD. And the name stuck. 

After we gave ABCD the racket, he very graciously said that he is willing to play in the format of a game. Now this game has several convoluted rules which we came to know as and when the game progressed. The rules were also quite difficult to keep track of because they kept on changing so often. First when my partner dropped the shuttle he shouted "OUT" and came and took hold of the racket. The first time his shuttle dropped he said that there was a "TOUCH" which basically means that the racket touched the shuttle before it dropped. So then he obviously cannot be "OUT" and he said it with a pretty indignant tone.

The next time his shuttle dropped he said that this was "NO PLAY" and hence is is not "OUT" obviously. "NO PLAY" means that he did not make an attempt to hit the shuttle. After much coaxing and shouting and screaming and finger pointing he finally admitted that he infact was "OUT" and handed the racket to my friend. I started playing with my friend and we were having a long rally. At this point he got rather irritated with us and informed us that we will both get "OUT" now, because the way we were playing was so obviously a case of "NO TRY" .In layman terms we were not trying to even get the other one "OUT."  

While I was trying to win my racket back in a tug-of-war match with ABCD suddenly an aeroplane was visible. ABCD and Vishnu left the racket and then just as the plane was above their head threw handful of dust at it. They were sure that when the dust reaches the place their wishes will come true. They were sure that the dust will definitely reach the plane. 

As the two boys waved us goodbye from their swings after we were done for the day, I felt this inner sense of satisfaction. It was an unexpectedly well spent Christmas. Thank you ABCD and Vishnu.

Avijit and Biswajit

It is 21st December. Park Street is all decked up in carnival finery. Me and my friends were walking down towards Allen Park when I spot these two guys They were standing in front of Veda. They caught my eye because they seemed to be silently observing everyone. As if there is some secret known to only the two of them.

Two homo sapiens of the XY chromosomal variety had already said no to me. So needless to say I was quite nervous. I have also been getting suspicious glances because I have been telling my friends that " I need a man for my project." or " I need to use a man for my project." What I meant was that after two lovely women, I wanted to feature a man's perspective of things.

• Name : Avijit
• AGE : 30
• PROFESSION : Kolkata Police Person
• Ethnicity : Bengali

Me : Tell me something funny that you might have encountered in your work ?

A : There is nothing funny in my line of work. It is always dangerous.

Me : There is nothing funny ??

A : No.Nothing. It is always serious.

Me : What extra measure is Kolkata Police taking for the safety of women during the carnival ?

A : There are police posts at regular intervals

Me : Is there a reason that you are not in police gear ?

A : What can I say? I am not allowed to say it. [ At this point I am thinking that if he is in plain clothes to be undercover why did he divulge his actual profession? ]

Me : What is the one thing being in the police force has taught you?

A : I really cant tell you.

Me : Random Life Experience ?

A : I don't really think of life so much !

Me : Do you think about Death then ?

A : (In a really surprised and shocked tone) Death ?

After this I stopped asking A questions rather disappointed. It was clear that I will not get anything interesting out of him. And he had so much potential. He could have been a goldmine of interesting shocking unbelievable tales.

• NAME : Biswajit
• AGE : 30
• PROFESSION : Senior Bartender
• ETHNICITY : Bengali

Me :   So you have an unconventional job ? Why did you choose this job ? And you don't have anything confidential so if you can please tell me.
B : I have always wanted to do this. I studied Hotel management and then joined this job . This is such a happy job . This is like Happy Hours all the time. When the bartender is happy, the guests are happy.
Me :   So tell me something fun that has been happening ?
B : The fact that a novel idea such as the winter carnival is happening in Kolkata is fun. The reason behind this is Karan Paul and Apeejay Group, owner of Park Hotel. This is his initiative. The place brightens up with youngsters coming here to enjoy themselves. I enjoy seeing them enjoy.
Me : You know how we see in movies, some dude gets extremely drunk and then pours his heart out to the bartender. Has something like that happened to you?
At this point A chimes in that if anyone tried that with him he would have taken the poor soul to jail. To which I reply, that is why no one will tell him.
B : I had this guest and every night he would come down to drink at the bar with his girlfriend. After he would get drunk he would suddenly realize that his girlfriend is nowhere to be spotted. The girlfriend would already have gone away with someone else.
Me : Tell me something, some unexpected incident that has happened with you ?
At this point A chimes in , " You doing this, talking to us is unexpected. This has never happened before. "