Social Experiment 4 : Spit like a MAN !!

So I have watched Titanic about 20 odd times and I remember most of the dialogues by heart. Yes I know super sappy of me. But who cares? Not me. And not the 51 odd men who spat in the middle of the road with elan !(What I mean is that they don't care. In general.Not about me watching titanic.) Should I also just include the two guys who blew their nose? Oh I feel whimsical, so I will. So the count is 53.

Let me reminiscence a little and tell you people how this idea actually came to my head. KB and I were walking down Southern Avenue on a perfectly nice evening when a shining black i10 came and halted because of the red light, just beside us. A guy in a shining black shirt which matched the colour of his i10 made this noise as if he was trying to regurgitate his intestines and then spat just beside us on the middle of the road. Sadly me and KB are not fans of this fine art of spitting( and perhaps never will be) and our reactions were spontaneous. I said something on the lines of "Ekta tene thappor marte hoy"( He deserves a tight slap). and KB said "Shala Idiot"( I am not really sure how to translate Shala to english). The guy obviously having mastered this art-form thought himself above us and drove his super shiny car away without even batting an eyelash. And then KB exclaimed in a disgusted tone that she wants to do an experiment on people spitting in the middle of the road.

And so the thought remained with me. And today while coming back from Rajarhat to Tollygaunge via Selimpur and Charu Market, I decided that I will actually record and count the number of people who spat on the road. These people are from various strata of society and their way of spitting also varies greatly. Some are silent, some are almost musical. Some are just spit and phlegm while most are red-tinted tobacco spit. But then they have two things in common. Everyone seems to be quite proud that they are using the road as their personal spit bowl and all of them were men. I am sure women spit as well but I did not witness a single one.

I know our Chief Minister wants to paint the city in hues of white and blue, but if only she gave the spitters of the city a chance, they would have painted it in shades of red and that too for free.(No pun intended. Only paan intended). They infact are so considerate and selfless that they already are painting the city incessantly. Maybe just like in "Lage Raho Munna Bhai" the next time we see someone spit we should go and smile and say "Thank You for painting the city red."

And as I end this post I leave you with the immortal lines of Rose and Jack...........

P.S. - Also have anyone noticed that people seem to spit more where there is a No Spitting sign?

Siddheswari Kali Mandir

• NAME : Debiprasad Mukhopadhyay
• AGE : 62
• LOCATION : Siddheswari Kali Mandir
• OCCUPATION : Devotee

Debi Prasad Mukhopadhyay calmly narrated the history of Siddhewsari Mandir to me and KB. He patiently answered all our questions. His family carry on the responsibility of taking care of the idol and the temple.

The idol itself is over than 500 years old. The Goddess appeared in the dream of the celebrated Sadhak Kaliprasad. She revealed herself to the Sadhu(holy man) and told him that she can be found in the southern side of a village where the Ganges ends. Sadakh Kaliprasad came down from the Himalayas with his two disciples and discovered the idol on the southern side of a forest in West Bengal, exactly where the Goddess had told him She would be found. Kolkata was not kolkata then. The Goddess had directed the Sadhu to establish her in The Maha Pith(Kalighat). But Sadhak Kaliprasad being a holy man of very limited means, offered water and sugar to the Goddess. He then meditated and prayed till  the Goddess gave him permission to establish Her in that place only. After establishing the Goddess, the Sadhu went back to his Himalayan abode.

The history of how the temple was built around the idol is equally interesting. There is a well known Madan Mohan temple a few feet away from the Siddheswari Kali Temple.One follower of the Madan Mohan temple was Shyam Chand Mullick. He happened to be the local zamindar. Daily while coming back from the Madan Mohan temple he had to cross the Siddheswari Kali idol. He would cover his face up so that he did not have to view the Goddess's face. In  pre-indepant India of 17th century, being a Vaishanb(follower of Krishna) it would be heresy on his part if he even as much as glanced at the Kali idol. But then over the next few days, he started hallucinating the Goddesses's face while looking at Lord Madan Mohan. He was deeply repentant and as a token of begging forgiveness he built the temple. He also engraved his name on the floor in front of the idol. The idea is that his offense would be slowly reduced as people step over his name to pray to the Goddess.

A few decades later towards the early 1700 this temple, became a place of worship and a centre for the notorious Dacoits of the day. Historically for some reason the Dacoits have been ardent devotee and worshipper of Kali, the ultimate symbol of female power. This Kali idol came to be known as one of the Dakate Kali idols. The Dacoits would abduct innocent victims and use them as human sacrifice by beheading them and offering the fresh blood to appease the Goddess. Infact the Kali idol is placed on top of three Dacoit heads. Even to date the Harikath(the Y shaped structure where the victims head would be placed while his hands would be tied behind his back) and the Khorgho(chopper used to chop the head off) is preserved inside the temple. It was only towards the end of 1700 when, one day Lord Clive , the then viceroy of East India Company, was passing the temple on his boat via the Ganges, came upon a little child about to be sacrificed. That is when he took measures to stop this barbaric ritual of human sacrifice.

This place also is witness to several other historical incidents. The Siddheswari Kali idol was referred to as Ginnima by Ramkrishna Parhamhansa Deb. This is where he stayed when he used to visit Kolkata. Once when Keshab Chandra was grievously sick, Ramkrishna Deb asked him to offer prayer to the Siddheswari Kali Ma. But Keshab Chandra being an ardent Brahmo Samaj member refused. Then Ramkrishna Deb came all the way over to Siddheswari Kali and offered prayer on Keshab Chandra Sen's behalf. 

The celebrated theater personality Girish Chandra Ghosh used to come to Siddheswari Kali Ma to seek blessing after every new play that he would write.

I am not a religious person. I am, what can be best described as agnostic. But this idol(Mrinmoyi Murti) has a calm and powerful aura. Just being in Her presence will make you close your eyes and offer a prayer. I did offer a prayer and also made a wish. Later KB told me that she prayed and wished that I would make a wish inside that temple. So if that means that her wished came true.... does it mean so will mine ?


P.S. - I am uploading the narrative in Debiprasad Mukhopadhyay's own voice. It is in three parts and might not be very cohesive.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Social Experiment 3 on the Ferry

Hey that rhymes !!

Me and KB boarded the normal ferry from BabuGhat which goes to Shibpur last Friday. We wanted to enjoy the Ganga, and this very unique ride.

We climbed up on the deck and there were mostly men on the deck and one other Muslim woman in a borkha.

Suddenly the helper on the boat tell us that ladies must go down and points to this hell hole underneath which is dark and dinghy and gets no air or sunshine. We first said no nicely and then I added that if I go inside I will definitely get motion sickness. Then most of the other guys joined him and kept on telling us that we have to go inside. First their logic was that we will  fall off board. Since we have XX chromosomes instead of XY we will obviously somehow manage to hurl ourselves over the railing accidentally. Then when we refused to move and also steadfastly was not paying them any attention the driver started honking the horn. As per him we were blocking his view. There were atleast 50 other men on that deck and we were the only two blocking the view. I guess it could be because we have breasts and that can be distracting. Then a random guy who was not even on the boat told us that we must go inside. We refused again and asked him to give us one good reason. He said if he has to give us one reason then it would go on forever. This was the rule. I then told him to show me the rule book. At that the men finally realizing that we were not going to give in said if we were so confident then we should stand at the lower deck, which did not even have any railing. At this point ofcourse no one was concerned about the fact that we might fall over. Infact it felt like they wanted us to slip and fall over. Just then a really old lady with her granddaughter came on board and she had to face the same harassment from everyone.They wanted even the old lady to climb down the steep stairs. I am so proud that she silently refused and continued to sit on the lower deck.

When the boat landed KB was one of the first people to jump off. I was about to follow when I realized that the men were trampling over the old lady. She was protesting feebly saying " Why everyone was pushing her." The men actually replied that she deserved it since she chose to sit up on the deck. I gave her my hand to hold onto and heard one of the men say to me "Why can't you get off the boat now if you are so confident ?" None of the men came to help the old woman down. At this point I shouted for KB and asked her to come help the old woman. Some other men who were not on the boat suddenly realized that a girl is summoning another girl for help. Their chivalry suddenly being awaken, they helped the old lady down.

This particular incident felt a bit like a social class thing but more that we belong to the female species thing. I guess the fact that we were of the female species, and perhaps a little higher up in the class ladder than them and refused to travel like livestock was reason enough to incite a boat full of men.

Since we are women it is again our fault ! How dare we challenge their male chauvinistic rule and refuse to travel in a dark airless hole ? How dare could we even want to enjoy the river and the breeze ? How dare we choose to stand their amidst the studly group of men? How dare we help another women ? And worse how dare we did not end up falling into the river ?

Sometimes I wonder what would they say if one day our Hon' Chief Minister decides to take the ferry. She happens to be the most powerful person in our State. But then our Hon' Chief Minister is a SHE. Will they demand that even she travels in that hole ? Because that happens to be the unsaid unwritten made up  rule ?

And just a reminder, the river happens to be a SHE herself. And she did help me from not wanting to punch the faces of all those people on board.

Social Experiment 2 with Me

Disclaimer : Contains strong language and worse, strong opinions by a woman !

It was New Year's Eve. I went to Kurry Klub with KB and SB for an early dinner.

This is what I was wearing
1. A red sweater.
2. A black and red skirt.
3. Black Stockings.
4. Red Wedges.
5. Kajal on my eyes and no makeup.

We were done by 9 p.m. and then we stopped at the Shop opposite HDFC ATM on Sarat Bose Road. We wanted to buy chocolates, water and Diet Coke. KB and SB were discussing something in rapt attention. As I was buying the things, a group of respectable looking boys/men came behind me. Initially I paid them no attention, but then my sixth sense told me that they were too close for comfort.

Suddenly, I was greeted with the compliment "Wah kya boobies hai !" followed by "Nice Ass."  At this point I tried to catch the attention of my friends but they were a little away and probably could not hear me. I told the shop keeper to hurry up. This seemed to somehow instigate the group. They continued " What's the hurry ? Some one's waiting for you ?" Then a second guy added. "Give her 500. She will wait for you then." Obviously this was the greatest joke of 2013 because it cracked all the boys up. To add to the jocular mood the first guy added "She might need a 1000. Can't you see her skirt is expensive ?"

What can I say  except  "It's my fault !" It was New Year's eve and how dare I thought that I could enjoy a nice dinner with my friends? How could I even dare to think it was alright for me to want to look pretty and wear a skirt? I should have known men have eyes. And, since men also have mouths and no control, it was only natural that they would compliment me !

Remember that scene from Rowdy Rathore where Akshay Kumar pinches Sonakshi Sinha's waist? When Sonakshi Sinha asks him why he did that, he explains saying that he did try to control but his hand had a mind of its own , therefore he was not to blame . Just his hands. It was Sonakshi Sinha in a sari and her waist that forced him to do it. And ofcourse Sonakshi Sinha enjoys being harassed since he is the hero of the movie. So how can we blame the men of this country for saying things or grazing past a girl's breast or pinching their butt or raping and brutally murdering them? They don't want to do it. It is just their impulse.

And as Kalki Kochlin says it, at the end of it all, " It is my fault ! " Because I am a woman.

Social Experiment1 with PB1

As part of this Social Experiment, I also decided to incorporate another social experiment. The general behaviour of the XY chromosomes towards the XX chromosomes in this city. Maybe I should have given the heading as Sub Social Experiment. Hmm !!

Anyways my friend PB1 (the rocking sport that she is) agreed to be my accomplice on this one or rather the main instrument to get this experiment rolling.

This is her and this was her attire for the day.
1. A pair of washed dark blue denims.
2. A grey tank top.
3. An orange hoodie.
4. Brown Wedges.
5. Pink dewy lipstick and eyeliner.

She is smart, sassy, gorgeous, independent and she can walk that walk where it feels that the busy crowded roads of Kolkata are infact her private runway podium. 

So she walked ahead and me and SB walked behind her. (Thank you SB for saying the things that you did say on that walk to all those men !)

We walked from Spanish Cafe, Sudder Street to Park Hotel. We crossed 63 men ranging from the age of 12 to 62, covering all social strata and out of them only 12 did not stare at her breasts. Nowhere else. Just at her breasts. Like deers in front of headlights. A few of them stared rather disapprovingly as to why a woman is wearing clothes of her choice and showing more than expected chest area. As to why she has not used a stole or or a muffler to suffocate herself but in the process sticking to good-old tradition by preventing these men from having to acknowledge the fact that women have breasts. Most of them stared like they have never seen anything like it before with open lust in their eyes. Some of them actually did double takes. One guy while holding his very cute girlfriend's hand did a double take. They were not looks of appreciation. All of them were staring as if she is a piece of meat that they need to taste(Pardon the language !).

P.S. -  I want to give a disclaimer here. This incident just happened. It was not planned really. After noticing the pattern with men and the general direction they were looking I brought it to PB1 and SB's attention. That is when I decided to write this in the blog and asked for PB1's permission. She ofcourse readily agreed.